"How to Cope with Grief and the Holidays" Page
"Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted"
God does answer prayer. Even if it seems like He is silent and not listening. Sometimes the answer is YES and sometimes it is NO but often it is WAIT. He can see the whole picture and we see only our introspective view.
that sometimes we may not understand but the Word of God
is another scripture that comes to mind :
Remember tears do a healing work and cleanse our body of poisons. You may have swollen eyes the next morning but it is good for you to cry. Kind of like vitamins and cleaning your room. Actually nothing really seems to help right away. Often it is when we look back at our lives that we can see the intricate and detailed pieces fall into place. It would be like putting the last piece in the puzzle. We of course may never understand why we go through what we do, but the Lord understands completely.
GOD is bigger then our fears. He is bigger then our pain and our problems. The Lord asks us to TRUST Him. Do you TRUST the Lord? Or do you have to control and manipulate your circumstances. Can you let go and let God take control of your life?
As Christians we can confidently say, we have the assurance that we will see our loved ones again one day in Heaven. What a glorious day that will be. We have that Hope.
faith is the substance of things hoped for,
Not seeing and understanding is the hard part of life. We know that we miss our loved ones. We know that they are in heaven. BUT we miss them. It would be so much easier for us if we could just see them and hold them and talk to them one last time. But be encouraged my friend. One day soon we will see our loved ones. And what a wonderful day that will be. It is then that we will know the answers to all of our questions. We will see clearly. We will understand fully.
But for now hold on to that assurance of a blessed and joyful reunion in Heaven. Remember that we serve a LOVING God.
I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning
them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others
which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and
rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will
God bring with him. For this we say unto you by the word
of the Lord, that we which are alive [and] remain unto
the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are
asleep. For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven
with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with
the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise
first: Then we which are alive [and] remain shall be
caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the
Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
Wherefore comfort one another with these words."
1, 1963 - Feb 28, 1996
This will be the eughth Christmas since my younger brother Billy was killed tragically in a car accident. (You can read more about this on my Testimony page.)
It doesn't even have to be a recent loss. Some times we miss loved ones more at holidays than any other time of year. The first year really is the hardest.
are some practical ideas
Don't expect too much from yourself this year.
I hope that these were helpful ideas and that they were able to bring you cheer and lift your spirits just a wee bit.
despair! Eventually you will have a
After the loss of a loved one it seems that the crying just will NEVER stop. BUT rest assured that one day it will. Some people cry and other people hide their feels inside. It really is important to learn to express our feelings and thoughts. To learn to deal with anger and disappointment. There are some people who can't cry right away and they may wait about 6 months but then it seems like they will never be able to stop the tears.
Of course you will have really puffy eyes and a horrible headache from the crying. BUT the Lord created our bodies with such intricacy. When we cry it is like the toxins and sadness leave in through the tears.
Did you know that the Lord
counts every one of our tears
tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears
There will be things or sounds that may remind you about your loved one. My brother Billy was a Mechanic. The first time I had to have someone at a gas station look under my hood to see what a strange noise was, I started to cry and had a hard time between sobs trying to explain to the mechanic why I was crying.
is perfectly normal to:
It is perfectly normal: For the holidays to be difficult for a while.
is perfectly normal for:
Our body has a wonderful protective mechanism. The shock that happens right after a death seems to be able to protect our bodies and minds. Shock can turn into a time of denial. It is a time when you just want "this" to all be a bad dream. You hope that when you wake up tomorrow that everything will be back to NORMAL. But it will never be NORMAL again. It will be DIFFERENT.
Some General Suggestions:
Make a Memory Book:
next time you are missing your loved one you can grab the
book and enjoy a visit with them.
Stages of Grief
"I will turn their
mourning into gladness. I will give them
".... that we may be
able to comfort them which are in trouble,
There are stages of Grief. You will have to go through them to be healed and able to deal with your loss. You may not necessarily go through them in order. Some people go through some stages at the same time. But you will go through them never the less.
1: denial and isolation
A good Christian book called "Good Grief" by G.E. Westberg lists 10 stages of Grief:
1: We Are In a State of
The Four Tasks of Mourning - By William Worden
1 - To accept the reality of
The five stages for the dying and the bereaved -by E. Kubler-Ross
1 - Denial and isolation
If you are feeling sad, lonely, down, depressed, and don't have an appetite or you can't sleep.......you are not alone.
Your family doctor may need to give you some medication to help you sleep for a short period of time. Lack of sleep can cause you to become physically sick. If you are on regular medications PLEASE continue to take them.
You also may need to contact your pastor for counseling or a local Church may be able to suggest a good qualified Christian Counselor for you in your area. Some towns have "Grief Support" classes or groups for you to take part in. Give the local Hospital a call or the local Hospice Organization for some suggestions. Remember you are not the only one who has lost a loved one. It does help to talk to someone who has gone through what you are going through.
How to Help Others
who are Grieving
You can be alone
without being lonely!
"God is our refuge and
strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we
will not fear, though the earth give way and the
mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though the
waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their
It is so wonderful that our refuge is in God. We have a place to hide and be comforted. In the everlasting arms of the Lord our God.
LORD himself goes before you and will be with you;
Are you discouraged?
This is the story of Elijah: 1 Kings 19: 3-21
What can you do if you are feeling discouraged?
Are you praying? Are you
reading your Bible?
"So then faith cometh
by hearing, and
I am home in Heaven, dear
All the pain and grief are
Did you wonder I so calmly
And He came Himself to meet
Then you must not grieve so
There is work still waiting
When that work is all
Main Entry: grief
When my brother Billy was
killed I wish someone had given
Good Grief - by Granger E.
You could actually hire mourners for a funeral in the days that Jesus walked the earth!
Easton's says this: "In the later times we find a class of mourners who could be hired to give by their loud lamentation the external tokens of sorrow (2 Chr. 35:25; Jer. 9:17; Matt. 9:23)."
Let's look at
some of what the Bible says about Sorrow.
Nave's Topical Bible says this about SORROW:
the redeemed of the Lord shall return, and come with
singing unto Zion; and everlasting joy shall be upon
their head: they shall obtain gladness and joy; and
sorrow and mourning shall flee
Main Entry: 1sor
Mourning is the expression of grief after a death. People in mourning may deny themselves amusement, avoid certain foods, or wear special clothing. Until the 1940's, Americans and Europeans wore black armbands and hung funeral wreaths on their doors while in mourning. Some societies regard a period of mourning as a time of being uncleanliness. They believe death contaminates the survivors and makes them taboo (set apart as cursed or sacred).
The funeral may include prayers, hymns and other music, and speeches called eulogies that recall and praise the dead person. In the United States, many funeral services take place at a funeral home with the embalmed body on display. After the service, a special vehicle called a hearse carries it in a procession to the cemetery or crematory. A final brief ceremony is held before the body is buried, or cremated in a special furnace. After many funerals, the mourners return with the bereaved family to their house and share food. Later, a tombstone or other monument is erected to record the dead person's life and mark the place of burial.
Funeral customs are special ceremonies performed after a person dies. Throughout history, humankind has developed such customs to express grief, comfort the living, and honor the dead.
Jews observe special rituals
in connection with death. Burial takes place as soon as
possible, in most cases within a day after a death. After
the funeral, the family enters a seven-day period of deep
mourning called Shiva. The mourners recite the Kaddish, a
prayer that praises God but does not mention death. On
each anniversary of the death, the relatives observe a
memorial called a yahrzeit, reciting the Kaddish and
lighting a candle in memory of the person.
Annie's Barnabas was an
Encourager Page - We all need
are some links that will be Helpful:
are some Christians who have lost loved ones and would
love to encourage you.
For a Text only copy of this page visit: Annie's Cope Text Page
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